DO'S AND DON'T'S FOR SUPERHEROES

Rules for choosing a superhero name:

  1. Don't call yourself by your real name (Ms. Jenny
     Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster, etc.)

  2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name
     (Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin... )

  3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and
     prowess, such as Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr.
     Invincible or Justiceman.

  4. Don't be too modest and name yourself something
     like Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so or Fairly
     Incredibleman.

  5. But don't labor the point and choose a name like
     Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

  6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime-
     fighting image, such as Captain Spongecake, Mr.
     Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers or Captain
     Evil

  7. Don't take the name of an existing superhero
     unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting
     litigation more than supervillains.

  8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible
     if your only power is control over Hostess
     Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-
     the-heart condition. You're just asking for
     trouble.

  9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're
     not invisible.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a
     girl.

11. Don't call yourself the Invisible Lady if you're
     a man -- even if you do feel like a woman trapped
     in a man's body.

12. Don't give away important information in your
     name (for example, The Glass Jaw or Captain
     Vulnerable To Strontium 90.

13. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear
     an orange costume. You'll only confuse people.