THE LITTLE OLD LADY
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               \_/o o\_/
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A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive
cat food in her basket.  She then went to the check out counter where
she told the check out girl.  "Nothing but the best for my little kitten.
"The girl at the cash register said, "I'm  sorry, but we cannot sell you
cat food without proof that you have a cat.  A lot of old people buy cat
food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the
cat food for your cat."  The little old lady went home, picked up her
cat and brought it back to the store.



          One Cat

              |\_._/|
              | o o |
              (  T  )
             .^`-^-'^.
             `.  ;  .'
             | | | | |
            ((_((|))_))

They sold her the cat food.

The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most
expensive dog cookies -- one for each day of Christmas.  The cashier this 
time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people 
sometimes eat dog food.  Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in 
her dog.

       One Doggie

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She was then given the dog cookies.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.  The little old
lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.  The cashier said,
"No, you might have a snake in there."  The little old lady assured her that
there was nothing in the box that would bite her.  So the cashier put her
finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady,  "That 
smells like crap."  The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear,
can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?"

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                  (___)
                 /'   '\
                /  /"\  \
                \_/o o\_/
                 (  _  )
                 ' \ / '
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                / /_ _\ \
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                 \/===\/
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                  / Y \
                  '"'"'


MORAL:   Never fool around with little old ladies



SUPER GRANNIE: DEFENDER OF JUSTICE (true story)

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She 
dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I 
know how to use it! Get out of the car you scumbags!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded 
to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few 
minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself 
in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by 
a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.