HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

* One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:  Chicago

* One hand on wheel, one finger out window:  New York

* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly
  on accelerator:  Boston

* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on
  accelerator: California.  With gun in lap:  Riverside

* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake,
  quivering in terror:  Ohio, but driving in California.

* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, 
  head turned to talk to someone in back seat:  Italy

* One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell
  phone, foot on brake, mind on game:  Seattle

* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating 
  between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the
  brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window:  Texas city male

* One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show 
  different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, 
  brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on 
  the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with 
  mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment:  Texas female

* Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear
  window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to
  antenna, cousin/spouse in passenger seat:  Arkansas

* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window 
  level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left 
  blinker on:  Florida