HELP!  IS ANYONE THERE?

A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close
to the edge and fell.  On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his
fall.  He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than
a thousand feet.  He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to
climb up the steep wall of the cliff.  So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone 
passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something.

"HELP!  HELP!  Is anyone up there?  HELP!"  He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him.
He was about to give up when he heard a voice.

"Jack, Jack.  Can you hear me?"
"Yes, yes!  I can hear you.  I'm down here!"
"I can see you, Jack.  Are you all right?"
"Yes, but who are you, and where are you?"
"I am the Lord, Jack.  I'm everywhere."
"The Lord?  You mean, GOD?"
"That's Me."
"God, please help me!  I promise if, you'll get me down from here, I'll stop sinning.  I'll 
  be a really good person.  I'll serve You for the rest of my life."
"Easy on the promises, Jack.  Let's get you off from there; then we can talk.  Now, here's 
  what I want you to do.  Listen carefully."
"I'll do anything, Lord.  Just tell me what to do."
"Okay. Let go of the branch."
"What?"
"I said, let go of the branch.  Just trust Me.  Let go."

There was a long silence.  Finally Jack yelled, "HELP!  HELP!  IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?"



GOD WILL HELP ME 

There was a man called him Jim, who lived near a river. 
Jim was a very religious man. 

One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, 
and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, 
a man in a boat comes along and tells Jim to get in the boat with him. 
Jim says "No, that's ok. God will take care of me." 
So, the man in the boat drives off. 

The water rises, so Jim climbs onto his roof. At that time, 
another boat comes along and the person in that one tells 
Jim to get in. Jim replies, "No, that's ok. God will take care of me." 
The person in the boat then leaves. 

The water rises even more, and Jim climbs on his chimney. 
Then a helicopter comes and lowers a ladder. The woman in the 
helicopter tells Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. 
Jim tells her "That's ok." The woman says "Are you sure?" 
Jim says, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me. 

Finally, the water rises too high and Jim drowns. 
Jim gets up to Heaven and is face-to-face with God. 
Jim says to God "You told me you would take care of me! 
What happened?" 

God replied "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. 
What else did you want?"