FEMALE COMEBACKS

Man: Where have you been all my life ? 
Woman: Hiding from you. 

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? 
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. 

Man: Is this seat empty? 
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 

Man: Your place or mine? 
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. 

Man: So, what do you do for a living? 
Woman: I'm a female impersonator. 

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? 
Woman: Do not enter. 

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? 
Woman: Unfertilized. 

Man: Your body is like a temple. 
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. 

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. 
Woman: But would you stay there? 

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. 
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. 

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."